No Milk From the Breast of No Nation

“It is starting like this”
It was from my twitter timeline, that I first read of Netflix coming to Nigeria, Wow, that’s good, but Netflix is video streaming company, how’s that going to work, because data is king of internet and still a challenge to Nigeria teeming internet users? Well these guys has done their math, what do I know?
Beast of No Nation was Netflix first cinema movie, and they spent over $11 million dollar to acquire the rights to do so. This arouses my curiosity about the movie and I decide to contact my friend. Mr. Google.
“Hello Dear friend, please tell me about “Beast of No Nation”
Mr. Google looked at me with a surprise, and spoke pidgin English “Na true U dey tulk so?, abeg dey go joor, you too dey joke sef”
“abeg tell me na, padi mi, why I cum mit U, I no d tin?”
“Okay, na una broda book, wetin b e name again, Uzodinma Iweala naim writam, since 2005 and they are turning it into a movie now.”
“No way, do you mean,
former Minister of Finance, Mrs. Ngozi Okonjo son, wrote that book?”

“Yes, my good friend, he’ll even be doing a presentation at the white house.”
And so began my romance with the movie, I desired to watch it, my movie body yearn for her. From Enerhen to PTI road, I travelled to get the movie and I got it.
I have already had a preconceived assumption that Nigerians will dominate the movie and it increased my movie libido for the movie.

Have you ever wanted a buxom woman so bad, that when you got your chance with her, you wanted to suckle and enjoy the milk, but there was none? That was my experience.

At first, I strained my ears to understand the language used in the songs, my preconceived assumption was Ibo, obviously because of the writer and also the source of the writers inspiration, plus I understand a bit of it, but it was not ibo and No milk flowed out of the nipple.

Okay, no qualms Agu, Striker and the rest of his cohorts did a FANTASTIC job in the movie and I was already seeing them with my mind eyes as the next-gen to take over not just our Nollywood, but Hollywood, becoming the next Idris Alba, Oyelewo, Chinwetalu, Charlize Theron, Hakeem etc. let me quickly add Mr. Alba killed it with the mannerism in his colloquial.
Guess what?
There was no milk from the cast crew, from Kurt Egyiawan as 2IC, Ama K. Abebrese as Agu’s mother, Jude Akuwudike as Dada Goodblood, Emmanuel “King King” Nii Adom Quaye as Strika, Abraham Attah as Agu, Idris Alba as commandant etc. nothing, no fadi, nada.
Wisdom is the application of knowledge learnt or information gathered, I have always said and told people that assumption is the lowest, level of Knowledge and I don’t know why I assumed that Nigerian actors or songs was going to dominate the movie, maybe because of my personal bias out of patriotism, I by myself set myself up for a rude shock.
My romance didn’t end there, it was stirred again, at a friend’s birthday get-together and we were chilling with the movie and someone, made a remark that “No Nigerian child actor could have done what young Attah did with Agu, this sparked off a heated argument, while I believed and argued that there are thousands of Nigerian children that could have done it, my bias was of the opinion that Uzordinma was inspired by Nigerian’s Biafra story, and therefore Nigerians should enjoy the milk from the breast of no nation, but that didn’t happen, no offence to our sister Nation, Attah won an Oscar, became an Ambassador and 10,000 Tom shoes goes to Ghana for free. Out of patriotic bias I wanted all this milk to be enjoyed by Nigerians because I was fully convinced that the milk could have nourished the mind of young Nigerian actors and maybe I could have gotten one of the Tom shoes. Maybe.
If wishes were horses, you know, “Beast of No Nation” is a fantastic movie and I am very proud of Uzordinma who with this literary masterpiece reminded the world that there is a deep bank of more Prof. Wole Soyinka, Chinua Achebe, Ola Rotimi, Dennis Osadebey, Gabriel Okara, Chimamanda Adichie etc.
I am also happy that the world stood still to a rich and deep content from Africa and in this time of a rising cry for Biafra, the movie reminded all Nigeria that the civil war is over, let’s sheath our swords and embrace a great child of Mama Africa, Nigeria.

It is ending like this, Our Country is at no more war, and we are having more school, so we are having to be finding means to be keeping funny”


Admin, @WarriUpdate

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